Motivation. It’s something we could all do with a bit more of at times! Quite often at my NLP therapy practice in Worcester, children are unsure of what motivation actually is. My favourite explanation is that it is that buzzy feeling you get when you really want to get on and do something – and you actually do it there and then!

For children more motivation can be needed in many different areas, but some of the more common ones I have come across during NLP therapy sessions in Worcester are:

• Homework
• Exercise/clubs
• Getting out of bed
• Going to school
• Engaging in lessons at school
• Spending time with family/friends (or even coming out of their bedroom!)
• Personal hygiene
• Tidying their room/helping around the house

But what causes a lack of motivation? Sometimes it can seem like pure laziness, but often there are underlying issues that are leading to the child being demotivated. Here are a few examples:

Self-doubt

A task that seems very simple to one person may be very uncomfortable for somebody else, especially if there is self-doubt and/or fear of failure. If a child has anxieties about going into school, then even the morning routine of getting dressed and having breakfast can seem like unachievable tasks.

Talk to your child and find out if they are having any of these self-doubts. How is school for them? Is there anything that can be done to make these tasks more comfortable and achievable for them? Something that has worked well for some children I have worked with at my NLP Therapy practice in Worcester is a checklist, with pictures for younger children for morning routines. This helps to chunk tasks down to make them seem more manageable. They could even have a sticker chart for rewarding the completion of tasks. If you haven’t already, speak to their teacher and find out how they are once in school. Is it the thought of school that is the problem rather than actually being there?

Uncertainty over why the task is necessary

For children, especially the younger ones, many decisions are made for them, and they have little control over the things that happen in their lives. This can lead to them struggling to see the point of things that they are doing. A conversation with your child could really help here. Children often struggle to see the long-term benefits of things if there is no immediate reward. For example: personal hygiene – a child may not understand the importance of brushing their teeth twice a day. However, explaining to them that if they do this, they are less likely to get nasty toothache or having to take extra trips to the dentist may motivate them to brush their teeth! Also the fact that they will have lovely fresh breath meaning that people will be happy to talk to them without holding their nose!

True belief that they are demotivated

If we tell ourselves something about ourselves, or are told by others enough times, we start to believe it. So if a child thinks they are lazy, tells themselves they are lazy and/or gets told by others that they are lazy – guess what?! They will believe that they are lazy. It is really important that we are careful about the messages we send out to our children, even if not directly. Think about how you talk about your child to other adults, and even how you talk about yourself. If your child often hears you saying “I just can’t get the motivation to start exercising, even though I know I should” and similar things, then they can pick up on those demotivated vibes.

Genuine tiredness/being overwhelmed

Sometimes what looks like demotivation can actually be complete overwhelm. This is something I have come across recently in a case study in my NLP Therapy practice in Worcester. Have a look at your child’s schedule – do they have enough down time? Are they being spread too thinly physically, academically or socially? Again, talking to your child is super important here, as they may be keeping their thoughts on this to themselves for fear of letting anyone down.

If you are still worried about your child’s lack of motivation, and would like them to learn some strategies to give them some energy and purposefulness, get in touch to book a FREE consultation at my NLP Therapy practice in Worcester, or online via Zoom.